AtLastHome,
Thank you for starting this thread.
There are a number of threads on this site pertaining specifically to IDs, whether it be femme, woman, lesbian, transman, butch, male-identified - I know there are many more. It seems to me that this type of discussion is more prevalent here than on the dash-site, although I may just be noticing it more here. These dialogues are important, for sure. Identities are presumably what brought us to this site in the first place. But I sometimes wonder if more emphasis is placed on them than is necessary, at least across the site as a whole.
On a thread dedicated to IDs of course they will be the focus. On threads not dedicated to them, it seems as though they aren't as important (notice I'm not saying they don't matter but the emphasis, to me, is lower). For instance, I started the Broadway thread. When I read a post, if it's from someone I don't know too well, I don't generally check to see how they identify, other than if I need to check pronoun preference. In that instance, I don't see how ID matters so much.
Another thing that I've been wondering about for a while - how much difference is there really between IDs. Since this thread is specifically targeting butches and transmen I'll focus there. Of course there are differences, but in many cases I don't think they can be qualified. For instance, many butches here identify as women and others don't. We likely share many experiences growing up and coming to embrace our identity, but how do we really differ? Sure, some of us embrace woman, some don't but also don't embrace man, some embrace male but not man, and others embrace man. We all have an inner sense of what identity feels right to us. But if I am dialoguing with a butch woman, in most cases does that distinction matter? Who am I more similar to, a butch woman or a male-identified butch. I have no idea. But I do believe we share many of the same experiences so in many cases I don't think the distinction is necessary.
I am NOT suggesting that IDs aren't important. I am NOT suggesting that it really doesn't matter what pronouns we use - it absolutely does. But we seem so intent on delineating the IDs and not recognizing the potential for friendships, support, camaraderie. We all came to this site, I assume, because we shared an identity, because we found others like us. When did the differences become more important than the similarities?
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