Quote:
Originally Posted by TenderKnight
AtLast,
Great thread! Thank you for starting it..
A little about my past.. When I found out about Butch people( on a side note, when refering to people on this site as a group, I'm using "people" it saves time and my poor fingers from typing..), I was a little shocked and very thrilled.. I can't tell you how many pictures of k.d. lang I grabbed off the internet and had posted around my room.. This was someone that I could identify with! Then I found a butch/femme site and was like, "holy crap! More poeple that I can Identify with!" I was all about it.. Reading online threads, going into chat, and meeting people locally helped me find and identify who i was and who i am now..
I am thankful for the Butches and Transmen that have posted thier thoughts and feelings for me to read and learn from, either in a good way or a bad way.. I am grateful for the folks that took time out to talk to a baby butch and then a questioning TG Butch and then finally to the transgender person tthat I am now (and have always been)..
With out my friendships and relationships with Butches here and in r/t, my journey could have been MUCH harder.. It's also nice to have people to talk to that get it.. and that you don't have to explain things every other sentance.. They just *get* it..
I started a thread about respecting women's space (and got some flack for using "women" instead of a more inclusive term).. I guess that I am kind of stuck on binary in a lot of ways.. and I am reading what people have been writting and I am learning more about the other side. It is hard for me to relate to some Butches, because they are coming from such a diffrent place then where I am.. I am trying to relearn and process through some of my assumtions and binary thinking.. I just hope that with the support of my Butch brothers and sisters, as well as my trans brothers and sisters, I can continue to grow as a person within this community. I too hope that this thread can be a good starting place.
Disclaimer: I in no way intend to drag anything here that doesn't need to be here.. I refrenced the thread I started as an example of where i just don't get it, or didn't get that the title would irk or offend some people. /Disclaimer
Thank you,
Tony
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WOW, you and have closely related histories with our butch identity! But, I was much older before I developed a personal comfort zone. Dammit! And my history with transpeople is different than most here. Which is why I sometimes have thought, WTF? A friend pointed out to me that I have been in a state and geographical too long that trans is just part of everyday life. Plus, there has been a Tran gendered person around me or related to my relationships for 40 years, now. Not so for many people. However, I feel like my experiences is limited in many ways because it really is a different world evolving around gender these days.
I remember the woman's space thread and was glad you started it, but knew some flack would fly. But, also, that a whole lot of positive could come along, too.
Yup, a good starting place for you! Can't promise we won't get tangled up somewhere, but, so far, so good! I know that some folks have just had negative experiences on both sides (or should I say within all of the sides!), so, they will have to see how it goes before posting anything.
I have been taken to task (outside of the site, as in real-time people) by some female-identified butches because I want to talk about this stuff. They see me as a traitor. These are not really friends to me, more like acquaintances, so, I'm just letting that go. Yup, the ignorance factor rides again! But, I can't change them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by atomiczombie
I have a hard time figuring out why there has been on this site, a seeming juxtaposition and dualism between butches and transguys that is reactionary - like someone is encroaching on someone else's territory. Yes, butches and transguys are different, but that difference doesn't have to mean that there should be a hierarchy or a mutual exclusivity. My queer sisters and brothers are family to me. One of my very best friends is a butch. We understand things about each other that most people don't. But we recognize the differences as well and celebrate those in each other. I have a great respect for butches and their courage to walk in a world that can sometimes be harsh and judgmental, and ignorant. Let's stop the in-fighting and unite to support each other!
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atomiczombie-
Thank you so much for this. The part I underlined is so much at the center of how I hope this conversation goes. I don't get the dualism either. Sure, we can all have different political and philosophical views, and thoughts about gender (in and of itself), but I don't want to waste time fighting. I want unity, too. Not that we can't and won't disagree, but I'd much rather have disagreement and walk away with knowing someone better due to it.
Yes, let's celebrate!
Sometimes, I think that