[Waldo]

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hi Waldo

For me, "fat" is self-identified, just like any other term or description. Some people would feel or be "fat" by their own definition in a size 4, others in a 22 or a 5x or whatever.

I'm not saying anyone needs to censor themselves...I'm saying how I perceive things. If you read my whole post you would see the last line...where I said that these things feel different to me.

There's a huge difference to me between that woman who was always a size 4and is now in a 10 saying "I'm struggling with this; I feel fat and undesirable" and the woman in a size 0 making fat comments to her friends behind my back...generally just loud enough for me to hear. To me, a size 10 is slim, but perhaps not to her. For others, a size 22 feels fabulous. That's their perception, and has nothing to do with me.

Make sense?

Indeed it does make sense. I still stand by my choice to not let an unimaginative dullard's choice of derisive comments to get me down. But I also understand that not everyone feels the same way.

Here's hoping you, or anyone else, finds a day when this is a non-issue.

Originally Posted by Nat

breed·er (brdr)
n.
1. A person who breeds animals or plants.
2. An animal kept to produce offspring.
3. Offensive Slang A heterosexual person.
4. A source or cause: social injustice a breeder of revolutions.
5. A breeder reactor.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

It might also be worth checking out the variety of definitions at urbandictionary.com

eg: Breeder is a slang term (either joking or derogatory) used to describe heterosexuals, primarily by homosexuals. It is drawn from the fact that while homosexual sex does not lead to reproduction, heterosexual sex can, with implicit mocking by connotation of animal husbandry.

I am, actually, aware of the dictionary definition of breed, bred, breeder and breeding. Funny how they are all related and yet have slightly different takes.

And I certainly hope that we, as a culture, have not reached the point where we are relying on UrbanDictionary.com to definitively understand this or any other term.

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

to breed and breeder are not the same. to me.

mirriam webster on breeder:

Main Entry: breed·er
Pronunciation: \ˈbrē-dər\
Function: noun
Date: 1531
: one that breeds: as a : an animal or plant kept for propagation b : one engaged in the breeding of a specified organism c : a nuclear reactor designed to produce more fissionable material than it uses as fuel —called also breeder reactor

Thank you for understanding that it is hurtful. In turn, duly noted that your progressive friends do not find it hurtful.

Perhaps if I divulged more personal information on how I became pregnant it would help garner more understanding on why being compared to an animal makes me feel like I've been punched in the stomach.

Unfortunately, I'm not ready to do that here.

SF, I don't think additional information is warranted in the least. I don't need to understand your experience to sympathize with why you, or anyone else, feel it's offensive. I accept it.

If the first definition is "one that breeds", then by logic one would check out the definition of "breed", no? They aren't the same, but the words and their definitions are related, obviously. But like many terms in our modern world they are used in a variety of ways. Not always as they were intended.