On Sunday (yesterday), I said goodbye to you in meditation. Your body was already turned to ashes and shipped off to family in Arizona before I even knew you were gone, so I had my own private ceremony out in the woods where you and I wandered so often.
I found a circle of trees domed with vines.
I picked wildflowers and sat in the circle and meditated - had a last conversation with you. Imagined hugging you goodbye. Cried and cried. It was good to be alone in those woods with all that History and all those Feelings.
As I climbed back out of the woods, the sun was setting.
I plugged my headphones back in and continued listening to a lecture on Tolkien. The speaker almost immediately said, "Tolkien viewed death as a gift."
I hope it was a gift for you.