[suebee]

One thing is for sure: there's always the possibility that two people will read the same words and hear a completely different message. I remember one time I was hopping mad because of what I considered a snide comment directed at me, and nobody else saw what I saw. So I did the only possible thing there was to do - I apologized. It seems like a simple thing, but as we all know, it ain't always so.

Now on one day or another I'll have no self-control, or I'll be feeling shitty, or the cat just got run over by a car or some such tragedy, and I'll let the person have it with both barrels. But I try to disengage if I feel myself getting tense and know I'm headed for a confrontation, and I try my best not to be baited. And even though we all hope that that type of behavior has been left behind us, we all came to this site with our own baggage. Mine was ordered from Sears by Mommy and Daddy and given to me as a graduation present, so I've had it for quite a while.

I taught crisis intervention to human service professionals for a number of years, and the biggest yet simplest lesson I learned from that was something Medusa mentioned: ask the person what they mean before assuming you know what they're saying. It's worth the time it takes. Believe it or not, 80% of the professionals I taught ASSUMED that if a person in crisis asked questions, they were challenging the authority of the (nurse, teacher, counsellor, etc.) in question. So anyone who finds they do this on occasion - you're in good company.

Great thread Medusa. I'm sure it'll be interesting.