[Ebon]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

This is very true for me, too. I see femmes do this often... the support, the help in finding a voice. And respecting the voices of others. Sure, they disagree, but, the end results look so different to me than among us most of the time. They seem to be able to put aside so much that honestly, gets in our way all of the time. There is some tough stuff being discussed by them in the femme side of this thread, yet, I sense honest interchanges that can get through the BS in the end. They own their own shit, I think. I know, I can't generalize, but, I really do connect with your point, here.

I think you also bring up something else very important - self-confidence. This can be mis-read as arrogance, but it isn't. It's just plain healthy, self-knowledge with no need for defensiveness. Not so easy to develop, but a damn good goal!

Shit, I was going to be quiet...

I think someone else mentioned having confidence or a strong sense of self. I have a very strong sense of self. I am not perfect but I don't hold on to things and if someone tries to make me feel bad or say something snarky because of or about who I am, I chalk it up to them having the problem not me. Then its automatically off of my shoulders and out of my mind. There is a lot less stress in my life because of it. Now if someone is making a valid point about my actions then I will change them or work on changing myself. Otherwise I just go with the flow and if I don't like the flow, I find another flow to hop into.