[firie]

Just some thoughts--I apologize as they are not well formulated, as I've been having some epiphanies.

I don't think I can generalize "passing" to include the trans experience of passing and femme "passing" as an experience that is the same in any way. I also think that "passing" becomes and has to be an active choice, and for me, people misreading me as something other than queer is not my fault nor is it my responsibility, but with that, as others have discussed, comes with it, a certain amount of privilege. I am certainly not denying that I don't receive het or cis or gender privilege, however that is juxtaposed with the oppression I experience as a female, so I would say I experience privilege moreso than Dylan, even when he does pass as male. However, I must certainly caveat that I don't feel that "passing" all the sudden makes one free in this world, and I certainly don't feel that "passing" all the sudden brings inalienable rights. Dylan and I cannot get married and Dylan and I cannot pass in certain contexts, and despite all the privileges in one on one encounters, we are still in the same boat, in the sense that we are second class citizens because of our relationship and Dylan's parts. We are also queer, and most of our friends our queer, and most of what we do is queer, and so if there was ever some sort of raid on our favorite social spot (cops still raid queer bars in parts of Texas, and there have been some recent incidents, so we are not outside of that target, except it's not as likely to happen here in Austin, you never know), we'd go down like everyone else. Dylan's likely to get the shit beat out of him, and I am likely to find myself in that spot when I am with him. A gay guy was attacked downtown in Austin many months ago, and Dylan and I could just as likely have that fate (I would argue Dylan moreso) just because we are walking out of some rainbow flag waiving bar or club. We have the same fear of really drunken, coked up UT frat boys as any other queer in this town, along with any woman or person of color in this town. The whole city is on alert, quite frankly, when UT wins a football game and the fucknuts head downtown.

However, I will say that I do live in a more "progressive" city perhaps, so I don't feel the harassment in the way that other femmes might at work or in quiet social circles (all bar and club and downtown activity aside). And I don't really feel invisible, nor need or want to be invisible. This is actually a great privilege. I am also not responsible for how I am read, and if I am read wrong, then I go about educating on that but then I have the comfort to do that. I also work in a real social worky environment, and although I am not denying that discrimination does not occur, people keep it to themselves for the most part, or they are willing to talk through whatever it is that may be discriminatory.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't view my experience as a femme as "passing" but more so an experience of assumptions made by others about me, if that makes any sense.

I think, however, whether I identified or was viewed as straight or queer or whathaveyou, I would still have issue with jokes being made about anyone, and would do the proper professional thing and move up with a manager in addressing it. I think that is privileged because I am also in a work environment that wouldn't have that, at least not allowing it out of the mouths of any one in a public work space without some sort of repercussion.

I think passing is a tricky thing, and we can't cart blanche/lump sum/speak too generally about it as an experience. I also think variables impact this experience and compound things in a way individually that sometimes that experience might seem very privileged (but in a real double bind kind a way) and yet it might also be one of the most dangerous of places a person can be--say in the instance where someone passes and is discovered, and the result is the death of that person (hate crime is highest among trans people, in the GLBTQ community, let's not forget). And as I said above, I do not think you can lump everyone into a general experience of "passing" nor carte blanche say it is the same type of "privilege," as in some cases there may be no privilege to it, when in other cases there might very well be.