[Diva]

.....so......
we drove across the driveway and I let your cousin Tabitha out to get our name on the list. Of course, just as soon as I did, there was a parking place (your Auntie Diva has good parking karma, boys and girls) right there by the restaurant!

We had a 20 minute wait, but we got to sit on the bench by the door ~ inside and out of the humidity. We were also close to the hostess stand where all the cute little waitresses with their fake~bake tans would come and hang out.

One of them gave me the pager, but I swear, boys and girls, it looked like a taser gun! I may have remarked same to the girl who handed it to me....and she came back over and said she agreed and then she stuck her arm out for me to "taser".

I believe the tanning beds might add a bit of smart ass to one's personality, for she jerked her body around as though I DID taser her, which in turn, scared your Auntie Diva!!! They all laughed and made sport of me. But then i said...."You better watch out! I'm an old woman and I believe I just peed myself!"

For just a split second, she believe I may very well HAD peed myself and we may have laughed so hard then, I believe I might have peed myself then! LOL! It was a moment of levity, boys and girls!

So then we were seated. Your cousin Charmer had yet to arrive, but we ordered an appetizer of fried alligator and rat toes. Don't ask, boys and girls......but there are rats running amok on tiny little crutches somewhere....

I digress.

We also ordered some sort of frozen concoction which had melon and raspberry liqueur in it. It was worth it just to get the Mardi Gras beads, boys and girls! It was festive.

It HAD occurred to us to SAVE some of the fried alligator for your cousin Charmer....but we kept talking and kept eating until ~ OH NO ~ there was none left.....just as cousin Charmer walked in the door, your cousin Tabitha tripped a poor busboy and got him to carry off the evidence....I mean the empty plate.

The older I get, boys and girls, the more difficult it is to maintain a look of innocence. But it looked something like this:

We ordered our food then from our waiter, Val, whose most charming feature was to say "My pleasure" every 2 seconds. He rather looked like one of last season's American Idol top 10 contestants with the blond dreads and the guitar...remember him, boys and girls? Val ~ whose name, he was quick to inform us, was short for Valentino ~ didn't know who I meant, when I mentioned this to him. But his MOTHER would know as she watches it all the time.

At one point, boys and girls, we needed Val's assistance. Your cousins were sweetly waving to him, trying to get his attention. He was standing just outside the door, holding court with about 5 of the fake bakers.....after about 30 seconds of their genteel waving, your Auntie Diva said, "Oh please!" and cupped her hands around her mouth and ~ in her best middle school teacher, Toppy McTopperson voice, yelled, "VAL!"

He heard me.

We allowed Val My Pleasure to talk us into a bread pudding. We thought we might each get one, but Val My Pleasure said they were pretty good sized so we opted for one and 3 spoons.

It was a good thing we did that, boys and girls, as that bread pudding was THE SIZE OF MY HEAD! But it was ever so yummy! And a grand way to end our Retail Therapy!

We drove to La Hacienda, full as full can be....

It was a good day, boys and girls.....a very good day! And so ends another story from your Auntie Diva!