[Canela]

Originally Posted by ravfem

hey y'all





i stopped hating and blaming my mama a long time ago. It did nothing to help me....in fact, it was eating away at my soul. What happened, happened, and it was made far worse because of her decisions. But i finally figured out that it was me who was gonna have to try and fix me, not mama. She can't do a dang thing about it now. So, i chose to accept that it happened and she was a huge part of it, but that was then and this is now. As long as i was holding onto my hate and anger for her and the hurt because of her, i would always be living in it. i would always be having flashbacks and moments full of fear and intense depression because of it.

Today, i practice One Day at a Time. i say practice because it is soooooo something i have to work on. When i can do it successfully, it helps in so many ways, but mostly it helps me maintain some semblance of inner peace.

Inner peace.....utopia. It's what we all want.. it's what we all need. And it's so hard to find, to reach, to hold on to. That is what i want for me and for everyone else...inner peace. One day at a time.

rhonda

Ravfem;

This is one of the most amazing sharing/testimonies I have ever heard. You are very brave Rav and I would applaud you only when I stop hugging you, my dear.

I had a mama like that too...best thing she ever did for me was leave me with my grandma...I was 4. Now, after all these years, we have finally found a good place where we can be family again, but it was a very long, tiring, trying process...She had to accept her own failings in order to deal with them...some people will live in denial their entire lives. Very sad actually, but I do hope one day your mother is struck with an epiphany and is able to deal with and take responsibility for the things that are hers to own. She is missing out on an amazing woman, daughter and friend in you. That's her loss though.

One day at a time is the best...although there are days when its one minute at a time, one hour at a time, and thankfully one day at a time...

Blessings to you, brave one. We all have to find a way to deal, and it sounds like you're doing it all by yourself just fine. Amen.

Shug