Scorp! Thanks for your bravery in posting your story here! It is incredibly powerful to hear how folks found themselves.
That truth of the matter is that MANY if not MOST of us have dated, partnered with, fucked, married, or had children with men. They arent the enemy, just part of our evolution to ourselves.
I think it can be incredibly uncomfortable for Butches to talk about their involvement with men sometimes because of the stigma of the ridiculous "Gold Standard". To me, I have immense respect for people who are honest about their history because dating Men does not in any way negate the Butch that you WERE or ARE.
Hell, when I first came out, I was a Birkenstock-wearing baby butch replete with do-rag and Levi's. I was FINE as hell, but not feeling super comfortable in my skin. I also dated and partnered with other Femmes for a brief year. They were FINE as hell too but sharing the mirror? Not so much.
Keep up with the stories, y'all, Im loving it!