July 13
Old Nasty
My addiction is like a Percheron, bigger and more powerful than I am, but what I have learned is that if I treat this horse with due respect and a guiding hand from my recovery and my Higher Power I can harness the energy of my illness and use its’ force to make my life work. I can never be the master of alcoholism, but I can see it for what it is; an overgrown instinct looking for an outlet. When I am given my way out I take this beast with me and when I value that partnership we are both safe. When I have tried to lock it in a stall and run far from the barn, it kicks my life down. When I put my head in the yoke willingly, together we are lead and we do the work which is fulfilling and rich. I was meant to work in a team, I am grateful to have a teammate.
Close your eyes and look at yourself
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QUICK-------SAND !!!!!!
Don’t ask how deep the quicksand is. Said my sponsor.
It’s your job to get out of it--not quantify it.
I’m not sure how to get out.
Will you come and get me. I ask her?
No Darling, if I get in we will both be down for the count
The only chance we have for me to help you
Is if I stay out of the morass
With my feet firmly on solid ground.
What if you can’t get me out. I cry?
I will go get more help.
What if all of AA can’t get me out?
Angel, my hope is, that if there was no way out
You wouldn’t even know you were stuck.
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