[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Gentle Tiger

Hello Everyone. I've had some experiences since transitioning that I quite frankly while I thought I was prepared I clearly was not prepared for them. I kind of wish I had had an older transman of color (not necessarily in age) to tell me a few things in advance - not that I would have changed my mind but to prepare me, talk through them. I don't mean about trivial things like hair growing in odd places, or receding hairlines. I'm talking heavy things like what it really means to be a man in the world. How you will be perceived and treated; respected and disrespected, etc. after you transition.

Anybody else have experiences after transitioning that kind of made you have to regroup so to speak?

Hey Malcolm great to see you! Sorry that you have had some uncomfortable experiences as of late.

I think it is one thing to know that certain things exist and another to experience them. Sometimes I think all the knowledge in the world will prepare me but once I experience something for the first time I realize that nothing could prepare me.

I can't begin to know what it is like to be a male poc, however I have had experiences since my transition that throw me for a loop, are uncomfortable, and sometimes still are.

When i was perceived as female at night I was always cautious and if there was a man around extremely intentive of the fact and aware of my surroundings. It's still uncomfortable to now be the one perceived as a possible threat/danger. It's weird having to be concious of how my behavior in certain instances is now perceived totally different now that I'm seen as male instead of female.

Other examples include interacting with kids. I'm a huge flirt with kids and when I was perceived as female it never alerted anybodys "red" flags. Now that i'm seen as male people are more cautious.

I'm a messenger and often sit in my car waiting for the next job to come. Sometimes it's in residential areas and I'm still waiting for someone to call the cops thinking i'm a potential perpertrator.

A lot of these behaviors are understandable, in fact i've been the one of caution, but it's totally different to now be perceived as the one that could be a potential threat.