[christie]

I'm back from TN and have tried to catch up on the thread. Eight hours in the car gives me quite a bit of time to think!

SF - I saw your note that you felt my posts to Snow were dismissive. I'm sorry you perceived them to be and I thought I included, several times, my intent in an effort to have them NOT be mis-perceived. Additionally, I don't know that I agree that Snow felt they were dismissive, because, in my history, she is very vocal at making it crystal clear if she feels this way and since she had addressed me in a rep note, I would think that she would have included such. I don't want to derail this thread but I did want to address it in the thread since your response to me was not PM'd. If you feel we need to discuss it further, please PM me.

One of the things that came up in my marathon drive/think fest is how I think neuro DA persons might (probably do) find online communities/communication problematic and I think that this is what we are referring to when we talk about the mythical pass.

For me, I have always viewed Bratboy's online interactions as "practice" for his social skills. Its much easier for him to have the anonymity of the keyboard. I daresay that its one of the reasons he has been able to develop such good real-time social skills.

He does, however, have issue with reading tone and intent. He is very literal in his interpretation and always has been. In the same way that one of his issues used to be reading pragmatics of conversation (tone, facial expression, body language), he still has the same issue with tone. I believe that is a good deal of the issues that most of our neuro DA community members experience. I have had several self-identified neuro DA's tell me such. I've yet to come up with a way to assist in navigating this issue, but I keep trying.

In regard to the DA Ambassador role and the hierarchy of Moderators/Administrators, I think its fantastic that Jack and Medusa saw this need and took measures to address it. I like that SF has made public announcements showing her availability.

I do think, however, Belle brings up an issue that I, too, think is problematic in two ways: (1) What if the DA person having an issue doesn't feel a rapport with SF? In following that train of thought, to me, having the hierarchy or next step in the process, what if the DA person doesn't feel comfortable in speaking with a moderator or administrator? These persons, while active, participating community members also have a position of authority and I think something to think about is how that might not feel safe.

(2) Its also been my observation and interpretation that most of the neuro DA's might not see that they even need to ask for assistance. Most of the times when Bratboy has gotten into sticky communication issues, he doesn't see that his behavior is the problem or how what he said/did is offensive/crossing a boundary. How can we, as a community, expect a neuro DA, especially those with communication differences, to have the capacity to know that they need to ask for help? I have issue with expecting a neuro DA person be accountable when they might not have the cognitive ability to look outside of self to see where their part of the issue is the problem.

To both of these points, I would like to see perhaps more public outreach. I feel confident that we can find a way or the words to step into a situation without humiliating (I'm not saying this has happened, but that a neuro DA person might feel as such) or changing the expectation that everyone abide by the TOS.

The reason I include "publicly" is that I think when the issue/offense happens in public and then is dealt with behind the scenes, it reinforces/gives the perception that there is that mythical pass.

Its also why I thought that a peer system of folks who aren't dual-roled as both moderators/position of authority and community members might be a viable supplement to the current process. For instance, Belle might be more comfortable in reaching out to me to ask for clarification of a post rather than having to ask a Moderator, whose role as Moderator is one of "task master". I'm just an equal. I think sometimes, even the NT folks have trouble seeing a Moderator as also a peer - I know I do in spite of the additional efforts the Moderators go to in clarifying from which position they are speaking.

Again, I hope that everyone understands that I am not saying there is anything wrong with, nor am I being unsupportive of the DA Ambassador role/process. I just see how we might be able to supplement it so that we can further dispel the mythical pass perceptions.