[Mindy]

I have dealt with depression all my life and was recently diagnosed as bipolar. I still haven't been able to find a good combination of medications that work very well for me, mostly because I have no insurance and have to rely on the free clinic and the $4.00 list of meds at WalMart for meds because I can't afford the others with no insurance. I have my ups and downs, deal with suicidal thoughts all the time, no matter how "well" I'm doing. Most people don't have any comprehension what it's like to constantly live with the feelings and thoughts that you'd rather be dead. A lot of days I'd rather stay in bed with the blankets over my head than have to interact with anyone, although most of the time I'm much better since I have been on meds. Usually once a year I have to change meds because they quit working. I don't know why they work for awhile then seem to not work. I've been on antidepressants that they've had to increase the dose over and over and over and I've finally had to be taken off them. I think now, because they have diagnosed me as bipolar I have my answer, because I've been told I need to be on at LEAST 2 meds, one antidepressant and one mood stabilizer at the minimum.

I'm supposed to be going to a clinic right now that has sliding scale and will get your meds for free, but it takes a month or more for all their intake stuff. I'm planning on moving in Feb. and will have to start over anyway when I move, so I decided forget it, I'll wait til I move. I hate it when I get settled on a set of drugs, move and have to change docs, the new doc doesn't believe the drugs I'm on are right, wants to change them and I have to fight with him over the fact I'm doing well, so who cares what he thinks, lol... So, once I get moved I'll deal with the intake baloney up there so that hopefully I won't have to do it twice in a short time span.