Quote:
Originally Posted by Metropolis
Thanks Barb and Nat!
Barb yes it is a elusive paragraph and I'm hesitant. I've written and tossed, one I posted and deleted saying hell why did I start this thread? (and I just re-vamped this one). It really feels quite core and I'm not the greatest sharer at that level but I thought it might be of use to someone... and admittedly I've been a bit bored since my lady's out of town.
I guess I could simply say for me it's a consistent, rhythmic flexible flow of distinctly changing energy...
or...
just explain that for me I'm a predominately and outwardly a *pretty boi who occupies a semi-gq gender space but easily slides around the "mascuninity" space that surrounds that part of the gender spectrum... and then some.
I'm not at odds with my female body despite my gender spectrum essentially being masculinely orientated, it's all female originated and it seems quite natural if that makes sense. Anyway I'm quite "flat" already ... and sometimes the contrasts of my hips with that seem pretty right for all of the above. *shrugs* But yep it's not quite that concrete, complicated or limited... and the language falls flat.
I've been very fluid as long as I can remember- though it wasn't until I'd been stomping around in my shoes long enough to actually have something to look back on is when the distinct fluid-ness of my gender became more apparent. You'd think as a kid feeling like a **boy... and a girl (albeit not "girly")... would be a clue but obviously I never thought consciously about it then or even felt it as any type of inconsistencies and it simply never occurred to me I couldn't be that way... and it never left me but it certainly became more "flavorful" as I got older... lol.
Anyway it's quite natural, simple and unproblematic for me in r/l- though admittedly it's caused a bit of a roller coaster ride here (BF spaces), probably needless to say but navigating in a sea of labels and identities has kind of (meaning really) kicked my ass because they're more static than I can ever ever could be in reality. But what can you do... hindsight's 20/20 unfortunately...
Metro
*Not as in physically "pretty" but as in a more queered term
**I didn't think I was a boy... but... well it's complicated don't ask
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lol you sound pretty similar to inki, cept she has larger boobs and a 50's Glam Model type figure - tall blonde hour glass. So when she's not inhabiting the genr that is totally aligned with it, she looks at her body in the mirror and says "jesus look at that. fuckin hot. But I'm not really there as me. why is this mine?" then she winds up perving over her own boobs. lol it's like a guy somehow gets in there and goes "phwar look at - hey it's
mine????!?"
And it's a surprise, every time. gender memory of a gold fish. swim around the bowl once and surprise one's self every time. LOL!
She has one other butch mates who has the same fluidity and same body. When they met at my birthday they spent *hours* talking and agreeing. Was rally nice to see. Especially cause I get along very well with that butch's gf - who's a construction worker with long black pigtails and can wield a jackhammer.
I tend to not really hang all that much with people who are ID blah-blah. Most people I know are pretty fluid, have been comfortable with where they are in the gender spectrum, know how they ID but don't feel the needs to really state it over and over and they don't really subscribe to much. it's a very comfortable place to be, for me and for inki. I do want to bring her to some events in Seattle/Portland/Eugene/San Fran but I am slightly nervous about it. If people start making butch-femme jokes and stereotyping or talking about their ID and positioning everything around them, ID wise, I know she'll just get up and leave (bless the dutch directness) with no excuses.
oh shit! bugger I have a coffee to go to!!
bbl! xx