[Soft*Silver]

1. Living in the closet

A. Do you feel there are ethical concerns with an individual's choice to live in or out of the closet? If so, what are they? Are there exceptions? I stayed closeted in AA for awhile out of self preservation. I needed to work on staying sober, and gaining a community and a network of close friends in recovery. One by one they were told. That was early on. Now, at my latest lead, I announce I am a lesbian and tell people I come out in my leads because some people cant, because they dont feel safe, like I didnt. I remind them this is an honest program and that homophobia can keep someone from being honest and lead to a relapse.

I also think children of LGBTIQ community also need to have a say in their own outing. As I raised my daughter, I was consciously aware that if I was brash in the school arena with my orientation, it outed her as a child of LGBTIQ. I let her take the reins and she did it well. Ethically I felt it was the right thing to do to protect her rights...and children DO have rights.


Religiously, some people cant be out or they lose their place in their church, let alone their religion. Is this right? No. But I would NEVER expect someone to chose their spirituality over the politics of gender and orientation.

Politicians who are closeted and are anti gay in their voting, SHOULD be outed.

B. Are there times when a person has a moral / ethical obligation to live in or out of the closet? If so, what times? read above

2. Outing others

A. Are there times when you think it's ethically okay to out a person? If so, when? Are there exceptions? read above

B. How careful are you in avoiding accidentally outing a another person? very. It unnerves me how many people ask me if so and so is gay because they are friends with me and think they have an "in:" to our world.

C. Do you feel there are ethical concerns involved with speculating with others about a person's orientation? If so, what are they? it just doesnt happen seriously in my world. If someone wants to speculate with me, I ask them what they like about that person because I have a friend that is soooo like him or her and can fix them up....

D. Do you feel there are ethical concerns about a person asking others to keep her/hir/hym/him in the closet? If so, what are they? I have a friend who is closeted. She is not ready to come out. She is on a journey and it is not MY place to tell her she must come out. People who want to date me who are closeted are told point blank that I am not, and if they associate with me, people will assume so its their choice...if they are ready, good. If not, they need to reconsider their offer of a date...