Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Swedish Parents Keep 2-year-old's Gender Secret

Laerkin · 09-05-2010, 07:26 PM

Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about this. If the parents are doing this as a way to encourage Pop to explore the world without typical constraints, then I think it's kind of cool (but I think the publicity surrounding the situation will influence Pop in other ways).

If the parents are doing this as a political or social demonstration, then I'd say their heart is in the wrong place.

I agree with the other posts that distinguish between gender and sex. Sex is a very different beast than gender. Gender is fluid, ever changing, flexible, and grows with us as we take on new experiences and meet new people. If the goal is to allow Pop total freedom on this sliding scale, it's a radical but interesting concept. Imagine if all of us were told to try on any gender, situate ourselves in as many places along the gender spectrum as we want, until we find a place that feels like home - and we'll be accepted no matter what? Pretty empowering stuff.

Of course, as an adult it means something very different than it does for a toddler who can't possibly conceptualize these things.

I hope the parents don't go to such extremes that Pop ends up being an outcast within the community.

I do fully support the idea that gender is all about self-expression and self-exploration and it would be a hell of a lot easier to feel good about our gender if people weren't always trying to make us fit into THEIR idea of what we should be.

PS - I think the other story the doctors reference from 1967 is a ridiculous analogy. This is a case of genital mutilation (initially an accident, it sounds like). It's astonishing how prevalent medical genital mutilation is here in the States. Often times, girls born with clitoromegaly are treated with a surgery that cuts off some of the clitoris to make it smaller - leaving them with scar tissue and sometimes compromised sensation - all because a parent was uncomfortable with their daughter having a visible clit. Big fucking deal. Or children born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS) - I've read stories of AIS cases when the parents choose a sex for their child by having part of their reproductive organs removed and later the child wants nothing more than to have had the choice. This is all very different from the case of Pop and Pop's parents. I think it's speaks volumes about the assumptions that these doctors are making when they compare flexible gender expression with something like non-consensual medical genital alterations or AIS individuals.

09-05-2010, 07:26 PM	#20
Laerkin Member How Do You Identify?: Girlie with a touch of bossy Preferred Pronoun?: She, but not hung up on the details Relationship Status: Parenting our furry family with SmoothButch Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Washington DC Posts: 385 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 772 Thanked 963 Times in 257 Posts Rep Power: 4366972	Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about this. If the parents are doing this as a way to encourage Pop to explore the world without typical constraints, then I think it's kind of cool (but I think the publicity surrounding the situation will influence Pop in other ways). If the parents are doing this as a political or social demonstration, then I'd say their heart is in the wrong place. I agree with the other posts that distinguish between gender and sex. Sex is a very different beast than gender. Gender is fluid, ever changing, flexible, and grows with us as we take on new experiences and meet new people. If the goal is to allow Pop total freedom on this sliding scale, it's a radical but interesting concept. Imagine if all of us were told to try on any gender, situate ourselves in as many places along the gender spectrum as we want, until we find a place that feels like home - and we'll be accepted no matter what? Pretty empowering stuff. Of course, as an adult it means something very different than it does for a toddler who can't possibly conceptualize these things. I hope the parents don't go to such extremes that Pop ends up being an outcast within the community. I do fully support the idea that gender is all about self-expression and self-exploration and it would be a hell of a lot easier to feel good about our gender if people weren't always trying to make us fit into THEIR idea of what we should be. PS - I think the other story the doctors reference from 1967 is a ridiculous analogy. This is a case of genital mutilation (initially an accident, it sounds like). It's astonishing how prevalent medical genital mutilation is here in the States. Often times, girls born with clitoromegaly are treated with a surgery that cuts off some of the clitoris to make it smaller - leaving them with scar tissue and sometimes compromised sensation - all because a parent was uncomfortable with their daughter having a visible clit. Big fucking deal. Or children born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS) - I've read stories of AIS cases when the parents choose a sex for their child by having part of their reproductive organs removed and later the child wants nothing more than to have had the choice. This is all very different from the case of Pop and Pop's parents. I think it's speaks volumes about the assumptions that these doctors are making when they compare flexible gender expression with something like non-consensual medical genital alterations or AIS individuals.