[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Laerkin

Some of these are absolutely cracking me up. Doubled-over laughing. I love it.

Here are a few mine:

- Most candy bars must first have the chocolate peeled (using only teeth) off and eaten before I start on the inside...example: Skor bar - nibble all of the chocolate off, lick the toffee clean, eat said toffee. If the bar breaks during this process, it's a very sad, sullen thing.

- Doritos - the flavoring must be sucked off the chip before the chip is eaten. A broken chip is also a very sad thing that ends in a pout of epic proportions.

- Mayonnaise makes me dry-heave, so if I'm eating something with mayonnaise in it, I can't think about it too hard or it goes in the trash. I do not know why and it makes me mad.

- Squeeze from the bottom, please.

- Outside the house, I adore shoes of all shapes, sizes, colors, textures, and functions. Inside the house, bare feet. I abhor socks unless I'm wear hiking boots or running shoes, or if I'm someplace supremely cold like Iceland. But then I'm more likely to turn up the heat and go barefoot anyway. Yay toes!

- Mixing foods creeps me out. My grandpa would pile everything from the buffet into one huge heap and then mix it as he ate. Um, no. Peas should taste like peas. BBQ sauce should be on my protein, not in my mashed potatoes. (There are a few exceptions to this rule - like a spoonful of mac n' cheese with a spoonful of tomato soup.)

- Chewing with your mouth open angers the beast that lives inside me. We don't need it to emerge, so close the trap please.

- TP over the top, too!

- I carry a purse, but I almost always have my wallet in my back pocket. Each time I slip my tiny girl wallet into said back pocket, I switch which side faces out so that it doesn't become curved or form to the shape of my butt.

- I will write in a book, bend the pages to mark certain passages, underline, highlight, and thoroughly love the inside. But if the outside gets damaged, I get upset. The cover should be clean, smooth, and as new looking as possible. Yes, I have taken a rag and Windex and tried to buff out imperfections.

Love these. I will, however, support the right to mix stuff in your masted potatoes. I enjoy steak sauce swirled in them. It adds a bit of tang that makes my taste buds do a lil dance....make a little love...get down tonight...