[Kenna]

Originally Posted by Linus

Sweet&Content: very interesting. Did you ever figure out why some thought you were ordering them around (that is, what the cause was?)

My apologies for my delayed response Linus... no disrespect intended, been away for a bit..

Did I figure the cause out? Yeah, kinda... and maybe that's why I resigned in September after feeling like things would never change? I'll try to explain... It was the people at work (only, not those I converse with online) that sometimes felt like I was ordering them around. But, then again, I WAS the only Manager and Project/Program Consultant (wearing many hats) in the whole State for a state-funded preventive health program for children. With my communications to my friends or my support of online forums such as BFP, I handle myself entirely different... here, I am a valued member of the Community... with a voice and a unique personality, that is respected for who I am. At work, I was a Boss that had to FIGHT to get things done...and often times had to deal with hostile personalities in a professional but abrupt manner. Sometimes I got fed-up with fighting and my emotions would show through during my communications...

I had to take an "authoritative tone of voice" and send many online communications to follow-up on project progress...often times I had to take this tone too strongly and show a "kick-ass attitude" far too often...that tone may set the stage for others to be offended, even if they were in the wrong to begin with? I had to learn to be very careful with my online communications. I wanted to foster a work environment where everyone felt as if they were a valuable member, and where their views would be listened to and addressed APPROPRIATELY and RESPECTFULLY... even if the answer was No.

Several individuals on our team felt threatened by me in an authority role and with my "tone" both online and in person because I had to be the boss...other individuals were afraid to speak up because of hostility & intimidation they felt from workgroup members which always acted like they ran the show and had the "right" to talk to others in a hostile manner. (on a side note...there are specific online discussion forums that I am afraid -sometimes very afraid - to speak up or share my views because of the hostile manner in which I am addressed in their return online communications and their "attacking tone", even from the administration of that particular forum. I have left that discussion forum/online community - or rarely ever participate - because I felt things would never change. ) The hostile individuals I had to deal with at work especially didn't like it when I took over the job and proceeded to work out long-standing issues with their personality conflicts and lack of proper communication skills. Not to mention, they shared very little respect for me when they learned I was hired as an authority figure...with no true formal college education. (my education or lack thereof does not make me a less or better person... or my views or work less important....)

Like you just said, Linus, "y'all are adults"... my question is, why couldn't they ACT like adults with their communication to others? I believe, after much thought on the issue, that they thought I was ordering them around because they wanted to "get on their soap-box" about issues, but didn't want to take or share personal responsibility for their work, actions or proper communications and could care less about respecting or accepting others. Taking and sharing responsibility, especially for one's own actions (instead of bullying or intimidating others through verbal or written communication, or forcing your views/opinions on your workgroup members without being open-minded to respect or other possible views, or being nasty to someone just so you can stand your ground..etc.) is very much a part of responsible, respectful adult communication...rather online or in person.

(sorry for the ramble...when you're as tired as I am, it's harder to form thoughts...)

Now... it's time to go make Naked Snow Angels in our new, fresh snow! Who wants to take pictures? LOL