[Diva]

Originally Posted by Nat

1. What are your thoughts on forgiveness?
2. What does forgiveness mean to you?
3. What does it feel like to you?
4. Do you have methods or rituals of forgiveness?
5. Do you feel there are times when forgiveness is not an option?
6. Do you forgive frequently or rarely?
7. Do you forgive yourself?
8. Do you seek forgiveness for things you regret?
9. If you have kids or have young people in your life, what do/would you teach them about forgiveness?
10. Any other thoughts on forgiveness?

What a great, thought~provoking thread.....thank You, Nat.....

I'm just going to start by answering Your questions:

1. If I answer the other questions first, then You'll know what my thoughts are about forgiveness....

2. Forgiveness means (to me) a letting go of a wrong done to You (or someone You love. In my opinion, You can't say to someone (or in Your mind), "I forgive You, BUT...." That is not forgiveness if You must qualify it, anymore than someone saying, "I don't mean to be rude, BUT...." Well of COURSE they mean to be rude or they wouldn't have said it. Why can't we just say ~ outloud or to Yourself ~ "I forgive You." and let it stand?

3. Forgiveness feels like a big relief....a heavy weight lifted off of my heart. And the heaviness is caused (for me) by NOT forgiving. Sometimes, I cannot forgive right away. I know in my heart when I just cannot stand being tired from carryin' that weight around with me any longer.

4. Rituals? Not really....for me, it just happens when it happens.

5. Tough question!!!! For me, to NOT forgive~when I feel it is required of me by my Higher Power~is wrong. But that doesn't mean that I DO forgive always. It's very rare that I don't forgive, but I can think of 2 instances right now where I have not.....and it's not because I haven't tried. And having admitted that now is bringing tears to my eyes.

6. I forgive frequently. And I really do forget about it. I was blessed with that forgetful gene....which, in some cases, is VERY frustrating ~ to me and those who love/care for me. I will remember more things where *I* need to be forgiven more than the other way around.

7. Another good question......I'm better now at forgiving myself than I used to be. But then, I'm 57. I think aging has something to do with that. <smile> And for that, I am grateful to have finally learned that lesson!

8. I have...and I will continue to do so should I do something I regret. We are ~ after all ~ only human.

9. I do have a child......she has seen me forgive HER over and over and it has not marred my unconditional love for her ~ and she knows it....and I believe the best lesson I can teach her about forgiveness is for her to see it in action. I have also expressed to her how much energy it takes to NOT forgive....

10. The only thing I have to say is I feel it has become too cliche` for us to say "I forgive, but I don't forget," when , again to me personally, it seems that forgiveness is all about forgetting the offense. Let it go as quickly as You can. Too much energy, I'm tellin' Ya!

Again....in a perfect world, I would be able to practice what I 'preach'....and I do not always. But I do forgive most of the time. And most of the time, I do forget as well.....and I hope I am forgiven when I offend.