[IrishGrrl]

On self forgiveness. That is also the hardest for me personally. Even when my head knows I had a reason. Maybe not even a good one, but a legit reason.(to me) Sort of like cause and effect. There was a cause, my action was the effect. I am not equating the cause as an excuse however. That was really hard to differentiate. Still can be. When looking at my own behavior, I try to first figure out the "why". When I figure that out, I can follow the path, and usually see how I allowed myself the behavior. It does not however mean that my behavior was acceptable. It never is. But seeing the "why" helps me not repeat the behavior again. It helps me put a flag on it, so when the "why" comes up again, I can say to myself, ok, here's this situation again, now lets have a different outcome concerning my behavior. It's how I hold myself accountable. There are things in my life that I am ashamed of, most of them done before I turned 18. Even though I was young, and had little knowledge of self, I still dont feel as though I can give myself a pass. I think not forgiving yourself leads to not loving yourself. Yep. and that's as far as it goes for me, I"m not at the self forgiveness stage yet. Therefore, while I love myself as a whole, there are parts that I do not love.