My mind is filled with thoughts of kindness. Sometimes I feel depressed and defeated then I come into this community. The caring, sharing and love this community gives me is unmeasurable. It's not often that I tell anyone what goes on in my personal life. I'm one of those that wears my pain inside of me. However, I have a few friends here that know when something is bothering me even when I don't tell them. Anyhow, I have honestly been looking for work for a few months now and nothing seems to be coming my way. Just when I think it couldn't get any worse, I get an uplifting PM yesterday that made me realize how much others pay attention and really care about me. When I give up on myself, they don't give up on me. When I feel defeated, they don't let me stay down for long. I am blessed in more ways than I thought possible. Lately conversations I have at home make me feel like homeless could come at any time and I worry more about the cats than I do myself. Living with someone that used to be a partner makes for many uncomfortable days. I've gone from what was ours to what is hers now. I trusted someone 100% for the first time in my life and then life has a funny way of changing on you. Don't misunderstand me, I didn't lose her to another. I just wish what she has going on could be prolonged until I get on my feet. In fact, I wish her only good things for her future. I just know once I come into my own again I will never let myself give up any part of me to satisfy someone else's needs when it comes to being a stay at home and do it all kind of person.
Much thanks goes out to this community and those that I consider my family (ya'll know who you are).
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage --- Lao Tzo
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