[Laerkin]

Wonderfully put and very much where I stand on the issue. I've seen some other very interesting posts that I'll need to mull over.

I would like to say that I certainly don't think my way is the only/best/"right" way. But forgiveness and growth and experience are tremendously personal. Some posts are resonating deeply for me and some posts are intriguing and thought-provoking because of how different they are from my personal experiences.

AtLastHome, I totally agree that forgiveness is a spiritual balance for me. Moving past negative energy and letting go allow me a freedom to grow and develop because of something challenging or hurtful.

As you said, this has everything to do with living a positive life with a healthy outlook (healthy meaning good for me and my path). It's not about the other person. They have their own things to figure out and I don't have a hand in that process.

Forgiveness, to me, is when I'm standing at a crossroads. Neither path is right or wrong, but one leads to emotional release and one leads to holding onto something (so I can obsess over it, or file it away for later, or learn from it, etc). When I choose to release it (and it might be something small and that crossroad lasted one millisecond or it might be something big and it's taken me months or years to reach the crossroads), it's no longer something I focus on or think about and I shift my energy towards something new.

I really am learning a lot from all of you. The various definitions, perspectives, and thoughts are really deep and personal and I'm seeing things through others eyes. Powerful stuff.

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Part of me disagrees with this (but, I certainly get the big difference between loving someone). For me, forgiveness is linked to my spiritual balance. Therefore, keeping any of the negative energy that coulod keep me from letting go of ugly bitterness which hurts me internally (this part has nothing to do with the other person), then it best for me to let go of that energy. That is not empty to me and might be freeing in ways that are helpful.

I guess the main thing for me is about not carrying around anything that just continues to impact with my own growth. That is when I have felt that I continue to have the negative that my abuser or someone that treated me unfairly had over me. Hanging its ugly head still. I want to look someone in the eyes and say you have no effect over me anymore, period!

I don't know, so much of the "static" in life now is just not worth my dealing with anymore. A gift of aging! A gift of having many tough things happen that I just can't allow to overtake me because I know the consequences to myself are far too high.

The main thing with forgiveness for me is the realization that is has nothing to do with rendering someone else free of of their abusive or unfair behavior. It has everything to do with my living my life more positively.