[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Tranzman

In order to feel loved...

I need to be able to trust before I can feel loved and in order for that trust to take form, I need to see that what you say and what you do match up as one and the same.

I am a deep and constant thinker and need for you to reach those depths with me. I can't live well in shallow land.

I need emotional intimacy as much as I need sexual intimacy, if not more.

I need to know we are on the same team and that you have my back.

I need honesty and truth

I need for you to be doing your work as far as your health goes; emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health. And I need for you to gently kick my ass if I am not doing mine.

I need shared laughter and a time to be like kids when appropriate to do so. Humor is important to me.

This is an excellent post, Jesse.



The things that help me to feel loved have evolved over time. At one point, it was the physical love and the physical actions that made me feel loved. While I enjoy that still, at this point, it's the "small" things that many people don't even think about that do it for me.

I need consideration as a human being and as an equal partner. I need pleases and thank yous and manners in general. I need the daily sensitivities that tell me that my partner is thinking of me and what I may want or need. I need to know that my partner thinks of me like I think of them, and often. I need to be a priority in their life, though I may not always be the highest priority at that moment, I need to be up there.

I need for my partner to see the big picture not exactly as I do, but to SEE it...to have their own plan for their life and path and for OUR union and path. I need for my partner to have similar goals and beliefs concerning the big stuff (knowing my big stuff might not equal someone else's big stuff, of course). I need them to walk that path, during the process of obtaining those common goals, with me...side by side, and knowing their needs are neither greater nor lesser than mine.

I need laughter and shared jokes. The more offensive the better, because I need my partner to be as much of a deviant as I. I need tender moments in quiet times and the knowledge that that moment means just as much to me as it does to my partner. I need patience in spades and forgiveness when it doesn't come easily from myself. I need my partner to love me more than I love myself, because as hard as I am on them, I am much harder on myself.

I've used the term partner several times now and that is what a relationship is to me: a partnership. A team. Both members must look out for one another and be kind to one another and forgive one another when those moments come (and they will) and keep working towards the team's goals in the big picture. They need to act as one entity, moving and flowing in unison.

Mind you, this doesn't mean spending every waking moment with one another or tying two of your legs together or anything like that. Heaven knows, Organic would have been strung out on the balcony a long time ago if that were the case. The relationship takes on a life of its own and that is what needs to be fluid and evolve.