Quote:
Originally Posted by christie0918
I do know my "first" name... Aimee Marie...I find it funny that when I was a teen and venturing into writing, I used "Aimee" as a pseudonym.
My parents told me that they never knew I was named by my birth mother or they wouldn't have changed it. They were instructed by their attorney to "pick out a name." My dad chose Christie...and spelled it. I've seen the paperwork... and yet, to this day, he spells it Christy.  LOL
In as far as a support group, I did attend one in Nashville many many moons ago. It was during the two years that I waited for Post Adoption Services to process my request for search.
Sigh... I wish I could say that I endorsed the whole support group thing. For me (and just for me) I think that its a way for me to avoid dealing with my own shit. I am a fixer by nature and find that I take on other's issues rather than focus on my own. I also have enormous issues with people I classify as "perpetual victims." I find that I have little patience with them. I found myself at this support group meeting, looking at people who had been dealing with their issues for what I consider to be far too long (decades and decades) and biting my lips off to keep from asking them just how long were they gonna be caught up in the woe is me mentality before they moved to the next step in the healing process.
Perhaps I shouldn't be quick to judge, but I know myself and I have a limited amount of energy to expend on others. I have to self monitor closely so that I don't get sucked into others' stuff and neglect my own.
This isn't a judgement on others nor do I want to derail by instigating/offending anyone. I recognize that we are all different, deal with things differently and on our own timeframes. This was merely a response to the support group question and my experience with it. Your mileage may vary.
On a happier note, this time next week, we will be back in Nashville for the holidays. Even as much as I relish the distance between my family and us, I do miss them and think that a three night/two day visit is just about the perfect length of time.
I hope that we all have a lovely holiday season, surrounded by people we love and who love us in return. Sometimes its not about the family you were born into, the family to whom you were adopted, but more about our chosen family. I'm grateful for each of you in my chosen virtual family. 
Christie |
I get what you are saying about the support group. I went to one for PTSD back in the 80's and I remember sitting there wondering how some of the people let things get that bad...that sometimes you do have to pick up and walk into the fire and deal with your every day life, no matter what your fears are. I made some of the other members angry becasue I looked put together and had a job, no matter what was inside my head.
I do wonder if I talked to someone who gave her child away that I am not related to could make me understand how giving away a person seemed like the best plan. Cynthia tells me how things are in a small town, that I don't understand the pressure, that people lose business if their kid has an illegitimate child, that the child is marked for life and fo forth and all that makes me think is how much people SUCK.
I think I do undetstand in a way, growing up in the nest of the Southern Baptist with my parents as missionaries, always on stage....how much pressure there could be. But what makes the difference between a young mother who keeps her kid and one who gives her kid away?
What makes the difference between someone who goes ahead and uses birth control and one who doesn't. Yes, I get that it's easy for me to say that since I sleep with women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy
I never knew what my real name would have been except my last name would have been Jung, that's about it.
Therapy, been there done that, ugh I don't like therapy, probably because I was being forced into it before I was even ready to divulge any of my feelings.
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My paternal last name would have been Sullivan, and my maternal last name would have been Higgins. No clue about my first name.
For me therapy depends on whether I chose and like the therapist and how they listen to and hear me.