[Dean Thoreau]

My grandaughter and I are the only birth children in the family. My wife, and all of our children are adopted.
I met several of my children's biological parents prior to my adoption of my children. My children were not the secret love children of famous actors and actresses, nor are they the missing heirs of the Kings and Queens. My children's birth parents were like every other birth parent in the entire world. Birth parents that had to make some very difficult choices.
Whether you were placed for adoption at birth or the age of 15; whether you were placed for adoption due to.................... or ..................... Several things ocurred:

1. You the birth child did not do anything wrong.
2. Your birth mother chose to give you life.
3. Your birth parents loved you so much they gave you up with the hope and dream that you would have a loving forever family. Whether they did so by signing a piece of paper, by court removal or by walking away or all of the above they made that choice not out of hate, or selfishness, or because you were to troublesome or because they didnt love you. They made that choice (spoken or unspoken) because they did love you so much that deep down in side they knew they could not properly care for themselves much less a child or another child. This decision is the most difficult decision a person faces in their entire life and it is one that no matter what is done, is second guessed for a lifetime.

Birth parents that you meet in adulthood may or may not ever tell you of the reasons because when the words are spoken 20 years later they sound kind of lame. A birth mother looks at you and says I couldnt take care of myself,,how could i care for an infant? and an adoptive childs inner feelings are not understanding but rather.....wtf....you are here now....obviously you survived...
What is not looked at is.....had the birth mother not have made the choice she did,,,there is a high possibility that neither of you would have survived.

Every person that has been placed for adoption is there for the same reason, your birth parents at that time were not capable of caring for themselves much less for an infant, a child. And they loved you enough that either by their consent or their actions you were placed with the hopes of a better environment for you to be nurtured and loved.