Quote:
Originally Posted by rlin
i hope that my posts didnt put any negative energy against being stone...
there is nothing farther from the truth in my head...
i just dont want to embrace this until i know for sure that i am not reacting to some kind of outside influences or levels of comfort... or preferences of a lover even...
i just want to be me... whoever that is... truly...
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I've kept from chiming in because I'm not butch...and I'm only semi stone... grin... soft stone if you would have it...
But...
A lover once told me that it was about feeling safe... and trust...
He said... The more I trust, the safer I feel, the more clothes come off...
He said... for a woman to get into his boxers, meant that that he trusted and he felt safe exposing the part of him that didn't match his inside view... (He was/is GID)
If he was feeling emotionally unsafe or the trust wasn't there, then the boxers and the a-line were NOT coming off..
If you've had a bad break up recently, an emotional trama that left you feeling unsafe to share yourself...
Something to think about....
I think there are so many reasons for someone being stone...
Energy exchange
Personal Satisfaction
Personal Programning
Protection
Human Sexuality is complicated and so very interesting..
Myself...
The more emotionally compromised I am, the more dominate I am... It's not safe to let anyone in close enough to share myself... So I turn it and make it all about them...
The more dominant I am, the less I want to be touched... I'm not even aware of my body and it's physically distasteful to be touched... It's the mindgasm, the taking my partner to where they only dream of going that blows me away... Touching me actually shuts me down and turns me off.. It's all about them, because it's safer for me that way...
The girl is me is crippled.. driven to the point of insanity...wounded almost beyond repair... Almost is the key word... Slowly... oh so slowly... (with the help of an incredibly patent and stubborn butch) I'm doing the work that will allow her to come to dinner and stay for a while...
Sorry.. Got on a tangent there...
What I'm trying to say is..
Only you know why you are the way you are..
There is not a damn thing wrong with being stone... With deriving pleasure from pleasing your partner... (and I have to say... Tantric? hell yes.. please and thank you...) if you are built that way... (personally, I think it's hot as hell to have someone orgasm from fucking me..)or if you choose to be stone...
But if you are questioning, if it's on your mind... Then maybe it might be something else...
Only you can know.....