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JakeTulane · 11-19-2010, 03:22 PM

I just got off the phone with My friend Christie awhile ago. I had not spoken to her in a month or so. She is one of My friends, where we do not talk every day yet we know the other is there. So, I called her just to see how she was doing.

I knew right away by the tone of her voice something was wrong. Her Mom passed away just two days ago. Apparently she choked on something, and they were not able to get the ambulance to her house in time.. she was pronounced dead by the time they got her to the ER.

I cried on the phone with her. Again, all the memories came flooding back of the losses I have experienced. One particular.

Many years ago I lost an ex to suicide. Robyn. I can vividly remember the day I received the phone call at My work from her Dad. I was heading to a meeting and My director had answered the phone and said it was for Me. I was working for the DOD at the time and had just been handed a file of classified material that you must read right away, sign off on it, and pass it along or shred it if you are the last on the list for reading. I told My Director, please not now, can you take a message. He said, "It is a gentleman and he is crying."

The whole conversation with her Dad.. was Why? Did she show any signs to Me that she was unhappy? Anything at all that would have led Me to think she wanted to take her life? There was nothing. I had no clue. No forewarning. We were about to move into a home together. We had picked it out together. She had left her job as an airline stewardess and was working for a great law firm. She "seemed" to be so happy. We were so happy.

She left a note - telling her parents that she loved them, that she loved Me..and she wanted to be buried with a necklace I had purchased for her.

To this day I still wonder why. Was there something I did not see? Was there something I could have done to prevent it?

I have only talked about losing her to My family and a couple of others. I have held in the feeling of guilt for so long..

I am letting it go here..

Thank you for everyone that is sharing.

Especially InfiniteFemme.. because of your post.. I decided to write this all down.

11-19-2010, 03:22 PM	#130
JakeTulane Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Mr. Prickly Porcupine Preferred Pronoun?: Butch - Hy, Hym, Hys Relationship Status: She has softened My quills Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Permanently Banned 8/8/2011 Posts: 4,880 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,221 Thanked 5,264 Times in 2,732 Posts Rep Power: 0	I just got off the phone with My friend Christie awhile ago. I had not spoken to her in a month or so. She is one of My friends, where we do not talk every day yet we know the other is there. So, I called her just to see how she was doing. I knew right away by the tone of her voice something was wrong. Her Mom passed away just two days ago. Apparently she choked on something, and they were not able to get the ambulance to her house in time.. she was pronounced dead by the time they got her to the ER. I cried on the phone with her. Again, all the memories came flooding back of the losses I have experienced. One particular. Many years ago I lost an ex to suicide. Robyn. I can vividly remember the day I received the phone call at My work from her Dad. I was heading to a meeting and My director had answered the phone and said it was for Me. I was working for the DOD at the time and had just been handed a file of classified material that you must read right away, sign off on it, and pass it along or shred it if you are the last on the list for reading. I told My Director, please not now, can you take a message. He said, "It is a gentleman and he is crying." The whole conversation with her Dad.. was Why? Did she show any signs to Me that she was unhappy? Anything at all that would have led Me to think she wanted to take her life? There was nothing. I had no clue. No forewarning. We were about to move into a home together. We had picked it out together. She had left her job as an airline stewardess and was working for a great law firm. She "seemed" to be so happy. We were so happy. She left a note - telling her parents that she loved them, that she loved Me..and she wanted to be buried with a necklace I had purchased for her. To this day I still wonder why. Was there something I did not see? Was there something I could have done to prevent it? I have only talked about losing her to My family and a couple of others. I have held in the feeling of guilt for so long.. I am letting it go here.. Thank you for everyone that is sharing. Especially InfiniteFemme.. because of your post.. I decided to write this all down.