If you really knew me...
You would know I'm the very best friend you'll ever make. I'm loyal, honest and I do everything in my power to protect those that I love.
If you really knew me...
You would know my strength and courage, but you would see how I constantly doubt myself.
If you really knew me...
You would have met a very, very old and gentle soul
If you really knew me...
You'd know that I have two amazing best friends. They are my world, and I can't imagine it without either one of them. They've seen me through so much, and never abandoned me in any of it. I love them more than I could ever tell either one of them, and I know they love me just as much. But, I'll always push them to prove their love to me even though they have time and time again. And if you REALLY knew me, you would understand why THAT is my biggest fault.
If you really knew me...
You would know how abrasive, harsh and confrontational I am, but how I'm afraid of all three of those things.
If you really knew me...
You would be amazed with my ability to love. I do so with every ounce of my being, and it can move mountains.
If you really knew me...
You would understand what it means to be open-minded. I'll never judge you... whoever you are.
If you really knew me...
You would know that for the last year I've been watching my mother physically and mentally deteriorate before my eyes while the disease slowly eats away at her, as it kills her family to witness this happening.
If you really knew me...
You would know that almost three years ago I lost one of my very best friends. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't take a moment and try to connect with his energy... where ever he is... and make sure he knows how much I love him, how much he is missed and the impact he continues to have on my life.
If you really knew me...
You would know that my heart has been broken. By others and by myself. And that I haven't admitted to myself which one hurts more. Yet.
If you really knew me...
You would see the changes I've made to better my life. You would know for me this is HUGE. And even though I don't say it or admit it often enough - I really am proud of myself.
If you really knew me...
You would know that I am my own worst enemy. No one can hurt me, beat me up and punish me like I can. Somewhere along my journey I've convinced myself that it's safer that way. I've been working very hard to undo that, and learn to be nicer to myself. I'm getting better. MUCH better.
If you really knew me...
You would see my dark place of denial. It's somewhere that I don't visit nearly as often as I used to, but it still is a lovely warm place for me at times.
If you really knew me...
You would know that my biggest fear is failure. But yet, I've set myself up to fail more times than not. This time, however, failure is not an option.
If you really knew me...
You would see how quick I am to forgive others, but how long it takes for me to forgive myself.