[T D]

Originally Posted by Starbuck

Growing up I hated dresses, I loved GI Joe, I played in the dirt, played with fire, & played football and baseball in the street. I first noticed that I had an interest in my best friend in the 7th grade, but I couldn't do anything about it, I changed school districts. Throughout junior high I had only one boyfriend and during high school, no boyfriends, but I was interested in one young man. While in the Army I married a man I later found out to be abusive; I had one son with this man.

For five years I was a single parent. I tried to date but I just never found what I was looking for. I thought that I had found another companion and I've been married now for 12 years but I've come to realize that what I am missing in my life is the love and affection of another woman. I've had regular dreams and even erotic dreams about women long before I admitted to myself that I was lesbian. Now some may think that I am bi, that is NOT the case. It absolutely disgusts me to even think about being intimate with my husband, or any man for that matter! For the longest time I told my husband that "I just didn't want to, (that) I wasn't in the mood" and that would go on for up to almost a year before I would begrudgingly give in, hating it.

Well, I finally got the nerve up one night and told him that I was a lesbian and that I wouldn't hold it against him if he wanted to move on since I wasn't performing as a "normal wife" does. I was hoping he would take me up on the offer, but he did not. So now, I must save up some money for divorce because I can no longer live in this relationship, it is killing me. I've had the wonderful experience of being in love with a woman and I can tell you, it is on a level much deeper than any man can ever hope to achieve.

Except for, perhaps, a trans man

I knew I was different as early as kindergarten. I didn't know what it meant then, and I can tell ya that anything queer wasn't something people talked about in the 50's. It's been a long road. Amazingly I probably had a total of 2 dates with males my entire life (in high school). I've never had sex with one, came out actively as a lesbian around 1970, and have really viewed myself more male than female for the past 20+ years.

And as my mom put it, I'm now going to be an old short man
Which certainly has me wondering........... about a lot.

Some things are just a work in progress