Sherrie, you are right. We do have to work at it ... we do not reach a point where we are "fixed" and can go on our merry way without our recovery meetings. Without my meetings and the things we do, my mind could persuade me into doing what I do not really want to do. I am certain of it. I used to know a woman back in the late 80s who always said that kind of thinking is our addictions trying to romance us back. NO THANKS TO THAT MERRY GO ROUND THAT WILL DROP ME OFF INTO THE PITS OF DESPAIR AND HOPELESSNESS. I know it would be different for me next time - lots worse!!! No doubt in my mind.
The woman did come last night to the women's meeting at 6:00. She was still crying and shaking so bad. We gave her a Big Book and 12/12. I talked to her after the meeting, gave her my number and asked for hers. I called her this morning on break from work and only got the answering machine. I left an encouraging message for her and told her I would enjoy hearing from her and how she is doing. I worked until almost 7:00 tonight so I do not know if she made tonight's meeting. I texted Cheryl today and told her if she went tonight, to be sure and be on the lookout for this woman. Cheryl is very good about reaching out and extending herself to newcomers. After everyone left last night, Irene and I stood in the parking lot and talked a bit. She said she did not think the woman was going to make it because she is having such a hard time detoxing herself. I feel so much compassion for the woman. She is about 35 to 40ish, a very attractive black woman and extremely nice to talk to in spite of her condition.
Prayers to the Good Spirit for her and anyone else with that monkey chewing on their backs! Today I am really alive and living. When I was caught up in my deal, I could only run hard and dodge ... and that was not living ... just a miserable as hell existence right there at the end. I did not like me that way at all and had no way out until I picked up the phone and sought help.
See you soon back here.
Brock
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