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11-30-2010, 09:13 PM

this is in regards to reincarnation. when i was young and furthur into my youth, i was convinced i was a boy. i was born 3 months premature. a friend of mine who has degrees in things metaphysical and who has studied the eastern religions extensively, says that i jumped the gulf too soon. in my past life i might have been male or at least an amazonian dyke. but despite lessons from school on anatomy and getting my period (what a shock!), i remained convinced in one way that i was male. oddly enough, i accepted the role in my family's matriarchal tradition that i was female but somehow that co-existed with the notion that i was also a boy. i remained bi-gendered through college, despite being attracted primarily to butches. never to biologically BORN males. to FtMs, yes. but i never acted as a butch, even though my dress was androgenous or almost male. unless a person paid attention to my voice or my gestures (very femme), they would assume that i was a teenage boy. then came my epiphany! one day in my mid-twenties, i wandered into this boutique that sold FLAX and FLAX-type woman's clothing. despite myself, i tried on a blue natural fabric skirt and shirt. i looked in the mirror. something went, "click." i bought them and several other articles of clothing-dresses, skirts, etc. i went home and kept looking at myself in the mirror. YES! i WAS a girl! finally my gestures, voice and appearance harmonized! iwas NOT a boy-i was a grrl! i called my best friend and told her i was wearing a dress. she came rushing over to see for herself. she had been trying to tell me over the years but never could convince me that i was in fact a femme. now i believed, i believed. THAT was the reason i could not swagger! THAT was the reason the my hand around a tea-cup resembled a mudra! THAT was the reason that despite my boyish appearance, butches looked at me knowingly-and that i loved their knowing look! i never became a high femme or even a classic femme. i was always the bohemian, in natural fabrics but now dresses, now perfume...i still don't know how i turned out femme instead of butch. buti did and i am and oh, so glad! thank Tao, Goddess, Universe that i am femme and butches always knew!
that is my reincarnation story!
pres

11-30-2010, 09:13 PM	#44
HoneyedChrysanthemum Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	Re: reincarnation: how am i femme? this is in regards to reincarnation. when i was young and furthur into my youth, i was convinced i was a boy. i was born 3 months premature. a friend of mine who has degrees in things metaphysical and who has studied the eastern religions extensively, says that i jumped the gulf too soon. in my past life i might have been male or at least an amazonian dyke. but despite lessons from school on anatomy and getting my period (what a shock!), i remained convinced in one way that i was male. oddly enough, i accepted the role in my family's matriarchal tradition that i was female but somehow that co-existed with the notion that i was also a boy. i remained bi-gendered through college, despite being attracted primarily to butches. never to biologically BORN males. to FtMs, yes. but i never acted as a butch, even though my dress was androgenous or almost male. unless a person paid attention to my voice or my gestures (very femme), they would assume that i was a teenage boy. then came my epiphany! one day in my mid-twenties, i wandered into this boutique that sold FLAX and FLAX-type woman's clothing. despite myself, i tried on a blue natural fabric skirt and shirt. i looked in the mirror. something went, "click." i bought them and several other articles of clothing-dresses, skirts, etc. i went home and kept looking at myself in the mirror. YES! i WAS a girl! finally my gestures, voice and appearance harmonized! iwas NOT a boy-i was a grrl! i called my best friend and told her i was wearing a dress. she came rushing over to see for herself. she had been trying to tell me over the years but never could convince me that i was in fact a femme. now i believed, i believed. THAT was the reason i could not swagger! THAT was the reason the my hand around a tea-cup resembled a mudra! THAT was the reason that despite my boyish appearance, butches looked at me knowingly-and that i loved their knowing look! i never became a high femme or even a classic femme. i was always the bohemian, in natural fabrics but now dresses, now perfume...i still don't know how i turned out femme instead of butch. buti did and i am and oh, so glad! thank Tao, Goddess, Universe that i am femme and butches always knew! that is my reincarnation story! pres