[Lynn]

I was married for over 20 years. I had hoped to maintain a real friendship with my ex-husband, but, so far, that hasn't happened. We have a decent working relationship, only for the kids. It's been about six years since we separated, but it still seems fresh in many respects. I also realize that the friendship I wanted was never really there in the first place. My brother commented recently that, seeing us together, it doesn't seem different between us now than it did when we were married. I thought that was very telling.

I'm friends with a couple of exes. Some are just out of my life because of time and circumstances, and others, I make a concerted effort to maintain no contact. I don't have a steadfast rule about how to handle relationships after breakups. If there is a chance of continuing a friendship with someone I loved, then I try. People who truly know me at that level are few and far between.