[dreadgeek]

Originally Posted by hippieflowergirl

i agree. language does matter. it simply has huge variation in its meaning (which we're proving right now). this isnt a discussion about the meaning of the word "lesbian" anymore. it's a discussion about the ways in which we can each see a word or a sentence or an idea as meaning something very different than it was intended.

i do not dislike the word lesbian. i dont dislike lesbians. i dont dislike female identified lesbians. and yet, that's how i came across to some people. i wanted to discuss the obvious (to me only) expansion of language that happens to some people when they exit one definition and enter another and so i joined the conversation. i expressed an opinion based on a common idea for many BFP members. i didnt do it in a way that was clear. it also, as has been stated, wasnt asked for or invited. but...sigh...i did it.

my example is less obvious than your very good one: i dont use the word lesbian to describe myself and then require that my attraction to and/or behavior with someone who identifies themselves as a straight man be included in the definition of the word.

clear as muddy muddy mud?

Actually, that is very clear and a point I would absolutely agree with. If you are with someone who identifies themselves as a straight man (whatever their chromosomal pattern is) then I would wholeheartedly agree that to say that this met the definition of 'lesbian' would be to stretch the word beyond recognition. I can certainly see how one would NOT use the term 'lesbian' in that case. My wife doesn't use the term 'lesbian' because she identifies as a bisexual-dyke (which, as I understand it to mean) that she is affectionately attracted to women but if I were to disappear out of her life and it was a lonely Saturday night and she needed a little 'sumthin-sumthin' and the right guy was around she would have sex with him. But if she were looking for another serious relationship it would be with another butch woman (or possibly transman).

So that makes perfect sense to me. I'm curious, would you then say that you are homosexual or bisexual?

And thank you for your patience, semiotics is completely out of my academic venue (which is computational biology/biomedical informatics) so I may be completely oversimplifying language.

Cheers
Aj