[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by Bit

<snip>One of the things which draws me to both Stone Butches and Transmen is this kind of self-awareness and self-confidence, this (usually hard-won) knowledge that of all the ways to be in this world and regardless of other people's judgment, this is the way that fits them best--and not just them, but also fits me (and other potential partners) the best. It was Stone Butches who taught me to stop judging myself by other people's (impossible) standards, who allowed me to simply relax into myself and be who I am in all parts of my life without fear or guilt. It was Stone Butches who taught me--just by existing--about that energy circuit, and what it can mean when the connection is made. It was Stone Butches who knew what to say and how to say it, who knew how to rebuild my shattered confidence, who knew how to tell me that I have value just by being.

That wasn't a message I could hear from other Butches, even when they spoke it. I heard it from Stone Butches because of the energy connection between us; that period of my life, that time of great healing, holds my most treasured friendships and memories.

No offense intended, more a matter of clarification and to keep us all grounded here, but since you didn't, bit, please allow me to qualify that this "self-awareness and self-confidence...this (usually hard-won) knowledge that of all the ways to be in this world and regardless of other people's judgment, this is the way that fits them best" is in your experience, and hardly applicable across the board.

I think it is a huge fallacy to assume that either stone butches or transmen universally possess this self-awareness and self-confidence; that all veils of insecurity and self-doubt have been magically lifted. While this thread is to celebrate the stone butch (and here I will also go on record that the term "stoner" is sort of offensive to me), let's not bestow upon them some elevated status or mantles of higher evolution.

Which is not at all to diminish your personal experience of the clicking of all things that matter. You are fortunate to have that, and no one can take it.