I'd like to share this article,
and then hopefully hear some input.
The title of this thread is soley based upon the title of this Article
The delivery tone of the article is half amusing...the
Topic more intriquet than all of us put together.
We've all heard about most of these headlines.
I'd like to hear what's been going on in your minds
when these images and words are thrown before you.
In the spirit of welcoming all voices to table,
I'd like that this Topic to be allowed to flow
many directions, if at all possible.
This means Conspiracy Theories, Religious
views, Skeptism, Paranormals, etc...are all welcome.
As absurd as some things sound, to not give an ear to all possiblities
is to miss the opportunity to discuss things we may never
have given thought to in the past. P.S. Dear Planeteers & Admins of Groovy Community Fuckery ~ I did not
know if this should be in the Red Zone, what do you all think?
With that said, here is the Article:
Is This the End of the World?
The new year has arrived and it is awful, what with bird/fish/crab death, floods, freezing temperatures, and zombie ex-Vice Presidents. So let's just put it all out there and list the reasons why this is already the worst year ever.
Birds have been dying off all week. There were
the original gangsters in Arkansas, then their copycats
in Louisiana. And now there's a threepeat
in East Texas and a fourpeat
in Kentucky.
Not to be outdone by their mortal enemies, fish have decided to die in vast numbers just like the birds. In
God-cursed Arkansas and
Satan-blessed Florida. I know this is a
common occurrence or whatever, but still.
And what's with the more than 40,000 crabs that have
washed up on English beaches in recent days? They died of hypothermia, so it's probably a sign that all the ice caps are still melting, making the water colder, and soon we'll be battling computerwolves alongside Jake Gyllenhaal. (Doesn't sound too bad, actually.)
The
terrible flood waters in Australia apparently contain lots of
poisonous snakes and crocodiles. But not dead ones. Living, biting ones. So that's great for everyone.
Rivers are
turning green for no reason. (
Update: Oh, phew. It looks like this was
just a prank. Maybe everything else is too??)
The bumblebees are
pretty much all gone at this point.
In non-animal related bad news, the 112th Congress
starts school today, with a John Boehner-led Republican House that is hell-bent on taking away your health care and injecting you with yellow fever.
Oh, and speaking of evil Republicans, inhuman monster
Dick Cheney has no pulse but is still trucking along, writing books and sporting a new lease on not-life. Meanwhile his underworld bride who will reign with him for a thousand years after the Great Fires,
Michele Bachmann,
might run for president. Terrific.
A guy in a wheelchair
was shot by police in
San Francisco.
It's really cold. There was snow in LA on Monday! And in Las Vegas, too!
Other awful, non-Congress things that are back this week?
The Bachelor and radical Iraqi cleric
Moktada al-Sadr. Coincidence? I think not.
Oh look. Lots and lots more
dead fish.
Jim Carrey got old. That's not a huge tragedy, but, y'know. Time.
[
Image via Shutterstock]
Send an email to Richard Lawson, the author of this post, at
richardl@gawker.com.