as my body started to change after my surgery and I dropped weight, I had mixed feelings. I loved feeling more healthy and that I would be buying clothes that didnt cost more just because they were a larger size. But I also missed my own ampleness. I had gotten comfortable in my curves and really liked the way I felt. I had loved myself that way. I had to "mind adjust" that I could love myself this way too, altho I felt I was betraying the "fat girl" in me. She remembered the lover I had had, who looked at me scornfully for gaining weight (even tho she outweighed me..lol...isnt that a farce!) I made a promise to to the All of me, that no matter what size I am, bigger or smaller, no one was allowed to make me feel bad anymore. Especially myself. I didnt need to internalize her message. And that pretty much took care of the BBW in me! I am by no means thin ..never plan to be, but as the weight drops off, I am moving further away from being a BBW. I am wondering if others, who have lost weight, have also mourned this departure too, as I am?
is there a title for a tweener body sized girl? Not thin, not BBW, but not exactly average either.
Oh my goodness...am I seriously looking for another label!!! ACK! SOMEONE KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO ME!!!! LOL
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears
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