partial quote of Sherrie's last post:
"I start my gratitude list.
Beginning with my sobriety"
As a person in recovery, the good things, for me,
begin with my gratitude list.
I have been doing some reflecting on and off this month. Thinking about the friends I lost to addiction in 2010. For reasons unknown to me, I was spared back when I was still trying to control it. I am certain, Erin, did not realize she was using up her last ticket to ride that Saturday night in mid December 2010. I remember when she came in - year 2000. She was so hopeful, so energetic - jumped in with both feet. Her Mom would attend the Al-Anon meetings which met at the same time. She was 51 years old when she died in December 2010. Broke her Mom's heart. Erin had been in recovery for many years and always attended meetings even after she went back to using - thinking she could have it both ways. It did not work out for her as she expected in mid December. Erin gets no more chances. Some show us what doesn't work.
I believe "it" will always win in the end. It is patient, will wait and NEVER gives up. Its only goal is to administer pain and destroy.
I am not in morbid reflection. It is sometimes important for me to get quiet, be still ... to reflect on reality ... renews my ability to refuse to let my teasing mind seduce me.
Sending
to those who are still struggling, still chasing the high, trying to control it ... and hoping they will chose to turn it around before it is too late.
Brock