Quote:
Originally Posted by guihong
And I feel so damn guilty because I don't want to go to his service. He was a mean thing when he'd been drinking. Part of me just doesn't want to bother, but I would probably regret it. I don't know. I feel this bubbling anger, and I have no one who would understand. My family would be shocked if I said "I'm not going".
I'm probably not thinking clearly. I hope all of you who have had loss are at peace today.
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I snipped a bit of your post because I wanted to chime in with my 2 cents. I mean well, so please forgive me if I am over-stepping.
When my mean, rotten, nasty step-father passed away, my Mother did not have a service for him. She just cremated him, and left him in the box until my Uncle took the box one day and released his ashes at sea. None of us were there....
You know, when I look back he wasn't always mean/rotten/nasty...we had some wonderful times with him when we were younger...and I feel cheated that I didn't get to say goodbye to the person he once was, instead of who he became.
Blessings to you during this diffacult time.
