Guihong,
We have all kinds of feelings about our families while we are alive, and we have all the same feelings about them after they die, only then we feel guilty about some of them. Deciding whether or not to go to the funeral will be hard. I hope you can fend a solution you are comfortable with. Maybe you could think of it the way Tinkerbelly mentioned and choose to go and mourn for the loss of the person you knew and loved from an earlier time in your lives. I send you light and strength.
Smooches,
Keri
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