[aurora]

Like my Spirit sister Sassy, I have always considered myself to be wired poly. Our lovely family has come together after a few years of Syr getting to know Sassy fairly well. I have just had a few months of loving and learning to work with my dear sister. It is definitely a journey and a work in progress.

For me, one of the most important factors for the potential long-term success of this triangle of love and marriage is the fact that I was the one to ask for the permanent addition of Sassy to our home. That is the key for me in managing the insecurities and occasional PMS spin-outs. My deep 15 year love for Syr, and my love and dedication of my spirit sister, are kept clear in my mind at times of self-doubt by that knowledge.
I have heard from others that have had a new partner imposed upon them, and heard the pain and suffering that followed the shift in the relationship. I am glad that in this thread, there is a strong opinion that good clear communication, and full agreement within the family on such a change, is extremely important.

As mentioned before work and clear communication is soooo important. Compassion and forgiveness and a desire to admit being wrong is also very important. One of the greatest benefits for me is suddenly having a friend to talk with who thinks the way I think about many things. In D/s relationships our partner is often our polar opposite in many ways, so having someone to just do girl-talk with about things one would not want to bother Syr. Sassy and I are learning a lot from each other, we are similar in some ways but very different in other ways. We are using that as a strength to grow in the relationship with each other and with Syr. Between job sharing and friendship and love, the extra work that is required is small compared to the benefits we are finding in our every day life now.