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Originally Posted by chrisbutch
Ok, all good advice thanks! But surely, now call me old fashioned, people should get to know each other slowly, and let things develope. Sexual preferences are not what early dating conversation should be about??
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Chris, I think that the type of "date" or encounter determines the circumstances. If one is into bdsm, IMO only, one explores the boundaries and limitations of the other as prelude to possible play. For *me*, this would mean that I divulge my stone id. Perhaps this is not necessary in that I am a Dominant, but I always want to be clear, up front, and understood about My boundaries. I expect my "date" to do the same, and will ask pointed questions about hers. For me, it is not only understanding her medical condition/s or play preferences/aversions. It is deeper than that. Then again, I am speaking of something outside of a "vanilla" experience (I don't know that I like that term. It feels derogatory, yet it is nearly universally understood ...) and my response might not be appropriate for discussion here with respect to your question.
Having said this, in a "vanilla" situation, a date, depending upon the energy that transpires between us, my disclosure as stone would come forth if I felt there was something developing between us. I can almost "smell" the other's desire ... Otherwise, if it "feels" more like friendship material instead of something more, I don't see any reason to discuss this with her. I have a lot of femme friends. Eventually, the topic comes up ... but not because it needs to be discussed ... it is more the level of friendship. The level of sharing, which brings this up during the deep exchanges between two close friends.
Hmmm.
I may have muddied the waters here!
