Sometimes I honestly think what we have in common is the discrimination that we face, and it feels kind of uncomfortable for me to rally around persecution as something to bond over. However in a political sense it is quite smart and necessary.
It is a large part of what we have in common... although I don't really see it as rallying around persecution in the bonding sense, rather, rallying around a shared issue in solidarity. We can bond over lots of issues, that may or may not have anything to do with gender. You and I may share a love of some of the same movies, we may both love cooking (I do), we may both ride Harley's... even though our struggles may be more different than they are similar, we can get along.
Transmen are part of the butch femme community because it resonates with them. I get that and appreciate that. I understand that transmen feel the complexities of their lives are not understood and they are branded as the "enemy." We can bond over the fact that we are in a community together and there are some commonalities we share, for sure. I too have been sirred and maa'med all in the same day on many occasions.
For me, having nowhere else that felt like it fit, I did spend over 10 years as part of the lesbian community, it's where I grew up. I feel a certain investment in the issues that affect the entire GLBT community, but especially, women. As I look back, no, I don't think I was ever a lesbian in the true sense of the word, because I always felt male. But that doesn't change the fact that I lived it to some extent and know the issues - do they all affect me now, as a man? No. But I care.
To me a simple request from a femme to be aware of male privilege when in the presence of women and the harm that can potentially cause women due to the inequalities between men and women that exist in society should be listened to and not met with such hostility and defensiveness. She was talking about interpersonal interactions.
Agreed. I had/have no issues at all with being asked to be aware of male privilege. I have no problem accepting that I gained male privilege with transition. I choose to see this as a positive, because I use that privilege to try and affect the (bio)men in my life, and those I encounter on a daily basis.
So I think transmen should talk about the complexities of their lives and we should listen. I also think transmen should listen to what women are saying about living as a woman in a sexist world. Hopefully we can learn from each other, have fun hanging out together and help each other out where we can.[/QUOTE]
Again, agreed. I think ALL members of the GLBT community should be aware of one another, and not only respect the individual experiences, but have an attitude of solidarity. What does it say to the outside world, the homophobes, if we're attacking one another? I truly feel each of us is interesting in our diversity, I look at the rainbow flag and see the different colors and think of all the unique, wonderful members of the community at large. Maybe I'm naive, but I think we CAN all learn to get along and fight ALL oppression. I would also like to add that I am a Psychology/Gender & Women's Studies major... I care deeply for what women have to say and I know I'm not alone in that. I'm not patting myself on the back, just want to point out that just because I transitioned, didn't mean I had anything against women... I just wasn't one :-)
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