[princessbelle]

I am sorry to hear about your situation, and my heart goes out to you both.

There is a very legal side to this...as well as, a practical side. I am certainly not a legal representative, but in my years as a nurse i would be happy to tell you my experience and this may in some way help.

First of all, what a great thread. We ALL need our "ducks in a row" so to speak for our relationships and these things need to be determined way before they are needed.

There is a difference between a POA (power of attorney) and a MPOA (medical power of attorney), generally....meaning unless your POA SPECIFICALLY states you can make life deciding medical decisions, you will need an additional paper which is the MPOA. But, the POA paper can include the MPOA.

Also, it gets tricky if there may be family (meaning blood, legal) relatives who may want to fight, question or try and take away your power. If that may be the case...get the POA paperwork notorized. It doesn't have to be, but it is wayyyyy more convincing in an icky situation and usually cannot be overturned.

I want to add this......as far as nurses and doctors, IMO and personal experience, we NEED someone to make decisions and take that lead. You will for the most part be welcomed.

I used to work with AIDs patients and this was when it was new and families turned their backs for the most part, whether the patient was gay or not, families ran a lot. If there was a partner with this "patient" and one that stood by them, i would, and many would, decide this person was next of kin, basically by default. Generally, we would assign them the ID of sister, brother, whatever on paper but it's not like we were trying to defy the relationship and cause more heartache than the person was going through to begin with.

It got sticky when families were around and they didn't approve of relationships and most of them would even say they did not want the "partner" even near the patient, even denying visitation.

Needless to say, I would always find a reason for the family to have to leave the room for an hour or two and sneak the partner in. Point being.....most nurses and doctors won't fight you, it's not like on TV, for the MOST part, and will be happy you are there and will take your opinion and decisions to heart and abide by that.

But, be careful....get a POA that SPECIFICALLY states ....has the right to make LIFE DECISIONS..it has to be spelled out specifically. If not, get a MPOA and spell it out then....both of you sign it...and get it NOTORIZED. File it with your doctors and keep the original to yourself. Then, IMO and in my experience, you should be fine.

Blessing, light and love....