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I'mOneToo · 01-07-2010, 10:22 PM

This is an interesting topic, but it seems like it might fall to the bottom of the fish bowl.

BullDog, I would look forward to reading your personal insights, too. I think PapaC has brought forth one aspect of this subject of "experiences across gender identities". PixieStars raised the issue of clothing. Not sure if that's the target you're shooting for but I can share a couple of experiences.

My outward experience is probably perceived as male. In body type, clothing, hair style, manner of speaking, etc. Yet, I am fully aware and comfortable with the female body that I inhabit. I go for regular checkups at the gynecologist, bi-annual mammograms, and it never strikes me that maybe others in the waiting room think I 'don't belong' somehow. Because I see myself as human first? I don't know.

One time, I went to buy some jeans at a department store. Men's jeans are displayed in the men's department. Usually I buy the same size, but holding up two pair of the same size marked, one looked smaller than the other. So I thought I'd better try them on, to get the pair that fit the best. Went to the sales clerk and asked if there was a fitting room nearby. She looked at the direction of the nearest one, which was in fact in the men's department. She immediately frowned and said "You cannot use the men's fitting room." I said, "I didn't ask that, I asked where the nearest fitting room was." She said, "You'll have to go to the women's department, which is across the store." Then I said, "Are there any men currently in the other fitting room, which is closer, who would be disturbed if I tried these on in there?" She said "It's store policy. Only men are allowed in the men's fitting room."

I thought about it for a second. Then I put both pairs of pants on the counter in front of her, turned around, and walked out. I have a policy too. And that is, I don't spend money at department stores that discriminate against people. If there had been even one customer inside the "men's" fitting room, I could see upholding policy. But with no other customers, and a potential sale standing in front of her, and the only thing wanted to try on was two pair of pants... well. Policy is policy, after all. But what I thought she was really doing, was policing my gender expression.

There are many other examples of experience across gender identity, but that's all I can think of for now.

01-07-2010, 10:22 PM	#8
I'mOneToo Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: left of right Relationship Status: right of left Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ]centered[ Posts: 321 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 587 Thanked 515 Times in 183 Posts Rep Power: 2132874	This is an interesting topic, but it seems like it might fall to the bottom of the fish bowl. BullDog, I would look forward to reading your personal insights, too. I think PapaC has brought forth one aspect of this subject of "experiences across gender identities". PixieStars raised the issue of clothing. Not sure if that's the target you're shooting for but I can share a couple of experiences. My outward experience is probably perceived as male. In body type, clothing, hair style, manner of speaking, etc. Yet, I am fully aware and comfortable with the female body that I inhabit. I go for regular checkups at the gynecologist, bi-annual mammograms, and it never strikes me that maybe others in the waiting room think I 'don't belong' somehow. Because I see myself as human first? I don't know. One time, I went to buy some jeans at a department store. Men's jeans are displayed in the men's department. Usually I buy the same size, but holding up two pair of the same size marked, one looked smaller than the other. So I thought I'd better try them on, to get the pair that fit the best. Went to the sales clerk and asked if there was a fitting room nearby. She looked at the direction of the nearest one, which was in fact in the men's department. She immediately frowned and said "You cannot use the men's fitting room." I said, "I didn't ask that, I asked where the nearest fitting room was." She said, "You'll have to go to the women's department, which is across the store." Then I said, "Are there any men currently in the other fitting room, which is closer, who would be disturbed if I tried these on in there?" She said "It's store policy. Only men are allowed in the men's fitting room." I thought about it for a second. Then I put both pairs of pants on the counter in front of her, turned around, and walked out. I have a policy too. And that is, I don't spend money at department stores that discriminate against people. If there had been even one customer inside the "men's" fitting room, I could see upholding policy. But with no other customers, and a potential sale standing in front of her, and the only thing wanted to try on was two pair of pants... well. Policy is policy, after all. But what I thought she was really doing, was policing my gender expression. There are many other examples of experience across gender identity, but that's all I can think of for now.