[Sachita]

You know I refinanced my home to break away and give me 25 acres free and clear, It has a spring, long creek, woods and pasture. I wanted freedom to know no one could take it from me. Often I fantasize about packing up my tents, my dogs and just hitting the back 40 without electric, running water and trying to be as sustainable as possible. BUT I get scared. Although I bitch about commercialism and our government I'm just as responsible and dependent on the luxuries I afford myself. I support the very thing I bitch about.... lol as I sit here opening boxes from Amazon containing foods I can't get locally. I also broke down and cried like a big ass a few winters ago standing in all that snow, pipes busted, cold, wet... how the hell would I ever survive? I guess i would if I had to.

But there is a tread of resentment in me when I pay that stupid ass power bill that could easily house a small family. Meanwhile I see our government sending millions overseas. There is resentment when I'm busting my ass and helping to pay to do it. My best defense in the ebb of all this resentment is continue and refine my "fuck you" plan and learn to be even more sustainable. I wear more clothes and even put coats on the dogs. If it's super cold we all huddle together and cuddle. I plan my trips to town- shopping, seeing Mia and my family. This year my garden will be even larger and I'll preserve more food. I can't bitch about something I'm not willing to do anything about. We all make excuses and even though we can't snap our fingers for change we damn sure could all start stepping towards it proactively.