April 8
Out on Your Front Porch
“If you want what we have,” said my sponsor, “you will have to follow somebody and lead somebody and do a few other things.”
“I have to follow somebody, that shouldn’t be too hard,” I mumble.
“In order to follow it helps if you stop looking at the ground, lift you gaze,” her retort. I raise my chin until I meet her eyes. “Better,” says she.
“I follow you?” I ask.
“Me, yes, if I have what you want, follow others if I don’t,” she says.
“Okay and lead somebody, how do I do that?” I ask.
“It’s attraction, Sweetie, be attractive, show your smile and your smarts, but most of all show that you’re sober, because that is always your best asset. And no matter what anybody tells you about the allure of bad girls, nobody can resist a good set of assets”
Don’t let the rush of the river scare you from the bank
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WHAT IS PAST
The past cannot hold me in a loving embrace
I run too often looking for affection and recognition
In things long dead and purportedly buried
I return to the ghoulish obsession of digging up
Old hates and sorrows longing for support
And finding only the cause of the ulcers in my soul
I wallpaper the crumbling facade
Not wanting to cover it up but to hold it together
Trying to unify something which is totally scattered
When I view it with a sober eye
The past is nothing but a slideshow
Under a strobe light
The pulse triggers the impulsive belief that it was all real
When in truth it was the lie I survived
No life existed in the past
Only now is there air to breathe
The past is all vacuum
And I don't need to be sucked away
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