[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Since addiction issues are widespread in our society, this comes up a lot. The co-dependency/enabling stuff can really kick in for some of us. You hit it on the head- the addiction is the priority unless someone is willing to deal with it.

I have certainly seen many folks deal with their addictions and be able to have good relationships- but it has to do with them being ready and yes, not in denial.

I can be a "fixer" and have learned to pay attention to this in myself- it has not served me well. I caqn't fix someone else- only me.

THIS is what has got me in trouble way too many times. I want to "fix" people. Then when it doesn't work, and I have to walk away, I am told I am the deserter, leaving someone in their " time of need". (Always a crisis) Yah, well I "need" to be safe and sane. Watching someone you love self destruct is painful. I am willing to be patient, to hold someones hand to get help, but I can't force them to if they are not interested. If the addiction always comes before the partner, and it will, it won't work.