Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerFem
I've been dating a wonderful person for over a month now. She is sort of butch for the most part, short hair , unisex clothes mostly. But she doesn't get the butch/femme dynamics. She doesn't like to be called butch , things like that. She is very kind and sweet, and she makes me laugh, and makes me feel good. She always compliments me, tells me I'm pretty, she says she doesn't know how she deserves someone like me. She is not bad looking to me , she has a good job, and she is a bit older than me, and she has been single for a while, so no ugly ex's hanging around. Here's my problem. I don't know if there is something wrong with me, but I just don't think I'm as into her as she is me. And I'm not sure if maybe I was just attracted to her attraction for me, or maybe she is going to fast, saying and doing too much. Maybe it's that she's not butch enough. If I were to list all her good points , people would think she was perfect for me. I can't really think of any bad points, I mean nothing I would consider "bad". So I finally meet someone who seems to be what I was searching for , but I think I'm forcing myself to feel something that I am not sure I really do deep down. It's fun to be with her and we talk about everything, she is very smart, seems strong, all things that I love. I know I will tell her how I feel I won't lead her on, but first I need to be sure of how I feel. The first time she told me she loved me, I was surprised, we had only dated for a little more than a week. But at the same time, it felt really good to hear someone say that. I am attracted to her, I love her kisses , and ya know being intimate is always very nice, very exciting . I don't know , is there something wrong with me? Has anyone ever felt like this? Maybe someone can give me some advice? Thank you for any input you may have.
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Hi Flower
No disrespect intended, but it sounds to me like you like and want the attention, so you're accepting what she offers. However, it doesn't sound like it's
her you want...but rather the attention, fun, etc. that she's giving you.
I've known people who "love to be in love" ...so they go there right away...without paying too much attention to who the other person is. In my view, that's always a big mistake.
Let me ask you this...if she wasn't showering you with all of this attention...would you be chasing after her, hoping to catch her eye? It doesn't sound like it.
If it was really
her that you wanted, I don't think you'd be saying the items that I highlighted in red.
Just my 2 cents...but I think that if she's in love with you, and you're feeling pretty indifferent to her other than the attention and fun...then you owe her the truth about that. You might still choose to date and have fun....but I wouldn't be "forcing myself to feel" anything with anyone.