[Gemme]

Originally Posted by FlowerFem

I've been dating a wonderful person for over a month now. She is sort of butch for the most part, short hair , unisex clothes mostly. But she doesn't get the butch/femme dynamics. She doesn't like to be called butch , things like that. She is very kind and sweet, and she makes me laugh, and makes me feel good. She always compliments me, tells me I'm pretty, she says she doesn't know how she deserves someone like me. She is not bad looking to me , she has a good job, and she is a bit older than me, and she has been single for a while, so no ugly ex's hanging around. Here's my problem. I don't know if there is something wrong with me, but I just don't think I'm as into her as she is me. And I'm not sure if maybe I was just attracted to her attraction for me, or maybe she is going to fast, saying and doing too much. Maybe it's that she's not butch enough. If I were to list all her good points , people would think she was perfect for me. I can't really think of any bad points, I mean nothing I would consider "bad". So I finally meet someone who seems to be what I was searching for , but I think I'm forcing myself to feel something that I am not sure I really do deep down. It's fun to be with her and we talk about everything, she is very smart, seems strong, all things that I love. I know I will tell her how I feel I won't lead her on, but first I need to be sure of how I feel. The first time she told me she loved me, I was surprised, we had only dated for a little more than a week. But at the same time, it felt really good to hear someone say that. I am attracted to her, I love her kisses , and ya know being intimate is always very nice, very exciting . I don't know , is there something wrong with me? Has anyone ever felt like this? Maybe someone can give me some advice? Thank you for any input you may have.

I have to agree with what DomnNC says below. One week? Seriously? At that point, I would have either taken several steps back or I would have sat her down and had a come to Jesus meeting with her.

Maybe she is lovely and feels things very quickly, but I think you should let her know that she's awesome and you enjoy the time you spend together, but you're not in it for the long haul. If she's okay with having fun at this point, I'd say goood for you, but keep your eyes open. Just from what you've said about her, she might be saying that to keep you close with secret hopes of changing your mind. Or I could be blowing smoke out my tush. Not likely, but anything's possible, right?

So, be honest with her but be smart too. Good luck.

Originally Posted by DomnNC

I don't know about anyone else but if someone told me that they loved me and we'd only dated a lil more than a week, which means a date or two at the most, I'd be gone so fast she'd not know what the heck happened. That's a big ole red flag to me.

P.S.~I think I know what you meant and that you meant no harm in saying it, but it's generally not a good idea to go around saying someone is or is not 'butch enough'. It's bad form as well as perpetuates ridiculous hierarchies within our community.